No one likes unwarranted judgments--you sure didn’t in third grade, and we know you don’t now. As a new mom, you are subject to a brand new form of judgments, which the millennials among us have dubbed as “mom-shaming.” What does this newly coined cultural trope mean? We’re glad you asked! Mom-shaming, in the fewest words, is the cultural phenomenon of questioning, judging, or shaming a mother’s child-rearing choices.
How many moms out there have felt judged by a stranger when walking through a grocery store with a screaming baby on their hip? We’d like to bet pretty much of all them--and that’s just one example of mom-shaming. To clear the air, we created a guide to help you deal with mom-shaming because we know you’re already handling this motherhood thing like a pro. Here are the do’s and don’ts when it comes to mom-shaming.
Don’t take it personally
People participate in mom-shaming for a multitude of reasons. Often times, they feel inadequate in their own child-rearing abilities, and other times, they’re jealous of your own. There’s no rhyme or reason as to why people choose to partake in mom-shaming, but it’s more than likely not a reflection of yourself as a mother or your capabilities to raise a happy, healthy baby.
Do remind people that we’re all doing our best
If someone lets their judgments slip, remain calm, cool, and collected--because you are. There’s no need to cause a scene, but there’s also nothing wrong with politely telling a stranger that you’re just a mom doing your best to care for your child in the most loving way you know how. Motherhood is a circus, and anyone who doesn’t know that hasn’t experienced it.
Don’t judge other moms
For the love of nap time, don’t participate in mom-shaming! Do your best to set an example for your other mommy friends and reserve your judgments of other parents’ nurturing and child-raising choices. Yes, that goes for the woman yelling at her toddler in public. A neighbor tells you she’s bottle-feeding her newborn? So what--to each her own!
Do remember how good of a mom you really are
If you fall victim to mom-shaming, it’s easy to let those judgments get to you. When this happens, think about all the times you’ve proven your supermom powers and let the other thoughts just roll off your back. We know it’s easier said than done, but you’re one heck of a mom--you should remember that.
In a world where passing judgments is as easy as leaving a comment on someone’s social media post, it’s more important than ever to combat mom-shaming whenever you see it. Use these tips to handle mom-shaming the best way you can.
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